You’re muted iain….iain, you’re muted….. for ***** sake iain, its been 61 weeks

“I need to speak to you about Coronavirus and CoVid-19……”

No, I don’t want to hear about it, f**k off Leo, I want my life back, I want to hug random strangers in the street, I want to cough in public and not be sprayed with bleach (that didn’t happen in case you were concerned), I want to be moody with my co-workers in person and not moody with my co-workers on a video call. When is that going to happen ? Well here is the answer I feel my employers are currently working on – take a 2022 / 2023 calendar, throw a dart at it and whatever date it sticks in, you are still going to be wrong. Don’t worry, we will soon be back to normal. Normal, NORMAL, last time I knew normal I was still filling my nappies, and at this rate I might be back to filling them again before I get back to work.

OK, rant over, I feel better for that (genuinely).

Here comes the Bobby Ewing Shower Moment
For those of you old enough to remember Bobby Ewing, congratulations on not being dead yet, you have obviously lived a long life. For those of you that don’t – its on YouTube.

This morning I got out the shower and said – “I need to write a blog post” like I had never stopped writing them. November 21st 2019 was the last time I made some digital imprint on this page and I am pretty much going to sweep under the carpet what has happened since then. For the Millenials/GenZ that couldn’t be bothered to go to YouTube – this is the Bobby Ewing moment.

What I will say is this – in the intervening 540 days the following has happened:
-There have been at least 4 more ‘Great Biscuit Massacres’
-The wagon has been crashed so many times that even Nikita Mazepin is horrified (Yeah, sorry, that is a very niche comment – you may need to Google that one)
-I still haven’t drunk either Red Bull/Monster or alcohol
-I tore some important bits in my left knee
-I tore some important bits in my right knee
-I put most of the weight back on that I lost in my great journey

OK, so that last point is why we are all here, its why I am here, and quite likely why you got invested in this in the first place. I was always told it was a risk, as soon as you start eating properly again, the weight will go back on. It wasn’t quite as quick as when I lost it:
November 2019 – 95.3Kg
January 2020 – 101.5Kg
April 2020 – 109.3Kg
June 2020 – 111.9Kg
November 2020 – 119.3Kg
January 2021 – 125.5Kg
April 2021 – 118Kg

January 2021 was a bit of a wake-up call for me, pretty much back to my ‘pre-journey’ weight and I was genuinely horrified. It was something I vowed never to do, the one promise I made to myself. In my defence, I didn’t expect a global pandemic and pretty much being confined to this desk in my attic – 61 weeks today (and counting). I didn’t expect that most days I would clock up less than 1000 steps a day, didn’t realise that my depression would get to me so bad that most days I didn’t really want to look at outside let alone take a step out there. In the early days of the pandemic I was good – I went out on the bike, I went for runs, I took walks. When we were allowed to have athletics training I was out there with the kids. The last few months have worn me down, if I showered every 2 or 3 days I was doing well, if I went to sleep much before 2am then that was a good day, if I did anything but watch trash YouTube/TikTok videos it was a rarity. I ate to make myself happy, and even that wasn’t working anymore.

Writing those things down make me feel sad, its not me, I’m not like that, I don’t want to be like that, I want to change. Today I am Bobby Ewing, today I pulled back the shower screen, looked at the World and said ‘Good Morning’.